Happiness

Life is tough and full of struggles; we may encounter some difficulties and have to change the true ourselves to attain the aims. As a result, for me, happiness is to be “myself” all the time. There are some circumstances that I have faced in the real life.

First of all, what is true happiness in our career life? When I am working as a salesperson, sometimes I have to hide my real personality and pretend to be another person for earning money. I must be friendly and talkative to make my customer to buy products from me. I may have to say some flatteries like “Oh my, the clothes are made for you. Darn it, you look gorgeous in that hot shinny dress.” Those lies easily come out from me for merchandising. Nevertheless, every time a customer pays for my sweet lies, I do not feel happy but guilty. I deeply realize that making money is good, but a real blessing is earning a lot of money without giving out our souls.

Second, to love someone and to be loved by him or her is gay; however, a true joyfulness is to be myself all the time when I am in love. I loved my ex-boyfriend and he loved me, too. Sometimes he did not love me because I was not as perfect as he thought. He asked me to make some changes to fit his ideal. In the beginning, I tried hard to make him happy; however, later I felt worn out and sad because I had never met his need. At the end, I gradually knew that the person whom he loved was the fake me not the real me.

Last but not least, to be alive is easy, but to live with dignity is absolute a bliss that can be proud of. Recently, I got a piece of information from TV that a beggar was given over 10 million dollars on the street in ten years. He told the correspondent that he wanted to teach other man to be a great beggar. The story shows that it is not hard to make a living. I can just drop out school, quit my job, and be a beggar in the street. But why didn’t I do that? The answer is because I do not want to lose my faith and dignity. I would choose to die if I have to live without dignity.

In my lifetime, I try hard to make a living, to find someone really loves me, and to live with dignity. However, happiness just slips from my fingertip when I try to grip it. Maybe I am not good enough to grab any sort of happiness. Am I worthy of happiness? I hope I deserve it!